GOP: Gangsters of Pork
I had to seriously do a double take when I heard this story. A headline that I would typically attribute to The Onion, “Steele: GOP needs ‘hip-hop’ makeover” was reported by the legitimate non-parody publication Washington Times.
I even double-checked the URL because I was adamant that it was a phishing scam to get Liberals riled up over a false positive. Fortunately … or unfortunately depending on what side of the aisle you stand … the story was true.
The newly elected Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele has officially lost it. In order to attract younger voters but in particular African-Americans and Hispanics, he would like to implement an “off the hook” public relations campaign that applies the GOP’s principles to “urban-suburban hip-hop settings.”
Say what? As the target audience … a young Hispanic voter … I can already attest that this campaign will fail. What Steele does not comprehend is that, it isn’t that I do not think the GOP is not cool (which they aren’t) but it is their policies and values that I disagree with.
No matter how many different ways you dress up “crap” it will still be crap! Young adults that are in tune with trends and technology know better than to buy this cheap alternative that Steele will be pushing.
When will you get it Steele … the GOP is the Microsoft Zune and the Democrats are the Apple iPod. The Republican values of torture, war, deficit spending, tax cuts for the wealthy, bailouts for corporations and many more are the principle that peers my age have discounted and disagreed with over the last 8 years. That is why your party has lost … it isn’t because you aren’t promoting your agenda in a hip-hop song by the latest pop star rapper.
Michael Steele claims, “We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-suburban hip-hop settings.”
Whatever an “urban-suburban hip-hop setting” means, I have no idea. It seems like a contradiction … a paradox created by some Ad Agency to scam the GOP out of money. Then again … these are the same folks that coined “compassionate conservatism” during Bush’s run for President in 2000. It is like they take words out of an Orwellian dictionary dedicated to double-speak.
Steele adds, “We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.”
So now you know … don’t be surprised if this summer a music venue near you is host to one-armed midgets from the mean streets of the suburbs that rap about how cool Republicans really are. I think they will be called GOP: Gangsters of Pork!